


Everyone's Got An Act

by messedupstargazer



Category: The Greatest Showman (2017)
Genre: Background Relationships, Dad P. T. Barnum, Don't copy to another site, Fainting, Fever, Gen, Hurt Phillip Carlyle, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Bad At Titles, Nightmares, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Sickfic, Worried P. T. Barnum
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-02
Updated: 2020-04-02
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:48:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23452750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/messedupstargazer/pseuds/messedupstargazer
Summary: I was asked if I could "please write more Phillip whump for the greatest showman?" and here it is!He wished he could’ve said he noticed it.  He wished he could say that he knew immediately when Phillip started to slip up, that he caught it before it became too bad.  But he couldn’t.  He was too focused on his own problems to notice Phillip's.  At least, until it was impossible not to.
Relationships: P. T. Barnum & Phillip Carlyle
Comments: 4
Kudos: 131





	Everyone's Got An Act

**Author's Note:**

> Nonny, I hope this finds you wherever you are. This one is for you.

He wished he could’ve said he noticed it. He wished he could say that he knew immediately when Phillip started to slip up, that he caught it before it became too bad. But he couldn’t. He was too focused on his own problems to notice Phillip's. At least, until it was impossible not to.

Rebuilding the circus had been difficult. Adapting all the routines into the three rings, relearning steps he knew blindfolded to fit with the new terrain, rebuilding all the burnt sets and bleachers, retraining the animals, the list went on. It was so difficult, that Phineas had simply started sleeping in the office, as it was one of the easiest to rebuild, instead of always going to his in-laws because he would get home so late and have to leave so early in the morning. Thankfully, Charity understood the need for the long hours to rebuild their life, and only requested him home on weekends, and Phillip could handle two days alone so it was a good compromise. So every Monday he found himself on a very early train, rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, and got to work at the circus.

He was surprised to see Phillip already working in the office when he came in.

“Good morning, P.T.” Phillip said as he opened the door, not once looking up from his paperwork.

“Uh, morning. Phillip.” Phineas said, surprised that his young appren-partner was already here. “Did you go home at all last night?”

“Yes, I did.” Phillip sighed. “This is from the city. Apparently, some clerk _misplaced_ our last permit for the animals so I’ve got to do it all over again or we’re going to have problems.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Phineas said. “I could’ve helped.” 

“It came after you left for the weekend.” Phillip said. “Besides, it’s not anything worth worrying about. I can handle it.”

“Phillip, it’s just past dawn, it’s far too early for paperwork.” Phineas said, as he sat down in the office, his own pile of paperwork a daunting task he wished he could magic away. “If it’s not worth worrying about, then why are you here so early?”

“I had an idea for a new addition to the opening routine at like three in the morning.” Phillip chuckled. “So I decided to just get up, get my paperwork done so I could spend the rest of the day on my new idea.”

“What's the idea then?” Phineas asked, knowing the pain of having an idea at way to early in the morning. Though, those were some of his greatest ones.

“A pulley system.” Phillip said. “So we can get some of the dancers clear in the air. If we place them right, the audience won’t see them and it’ll look like they can fly.”

Phineas smiled, loving the idea already.

Thursday, Phillip woke him after slipping into the office very quietly by lighting a candle by his desk.

“Phillip?” He murmured.

“Oh, I’m sorry, P.T. I didn’t mean to wake you.” Phillip whispered, moving the candle so the light wouldn’t bother Phineas.

Phineas had meant to respond, to ask why Phillip was there while everyone else was asleep, but he fell asleep before he could.

Right before he left for home on Friday, he found Phillip asleep at his desk.

“Phillip? Phillip!” He gently shook the young boy’s shoulders.

Phillip snapped awake. “Anne! Where’s Anne? Oh, P.T.”

“I think you need to go home, Phillip.” Phineas chuckled. “And take Anne with you, apparently.”

Phillip glared at him. “It’s not like that.”

“Of course it’s not.” Phineas winked. Phillip groaned. “Go home. Get some sleep. Can’t have you falling asleep in the middle of rehearsal!”

He’d meant the words as a gentle tease, and quite forgot about them as he headed home. His mind filled with thoughts of his girls, a nice home-cooked dinner, and a soft, warm bed that had a wonderful, loving wife in it.

So the next Monday, like clockwork, he kissed his sleepy wife goodbye, got on the early train, and headed to the circus. He missed his girls dearly while he was away, but he needed to start making money so he could buy back their house. So far, they were on track, but there was always a threat of someone else buying it to spite him, so he had to do what had to be done to give his girls back everything they deserved.

The walk to the circus had always been calming to him. The sunlight stretched across the city, as if the city itself were slowly waking with him, few people roamed the streets so he could just feel the peace of the early morning.

The light was on in the office. He frowned. It wasn’t like Phillip to leave the light on. He opened the door and found Phillip slumped over his desk with his head in his heads.

“Phillip?”

The boy’s head snapped up, and Phineas then saw the bags underneath his eyes, the tremors in the boy’s hands, the flush in his cheeks, the exhaustion Phillip obviously felt so deep in his bones.

“Oh, Phillip.” Phineas pulled his chair over to Phillip’s desk.

“I'm fine, P.T.” Phillip murmured slowly.

The fact that it took Phillip a moment to respond to him reinforced the worry in his mind.

“No, you're not.” Phineas whispered. “Phillip, what's happened?”

“Nothing.” Phillip mumbled, rubbing at his red-rimmed eyes. “Just had a lot of work to do.”

“You were almost done when I left this past weekend.” Phineas frowned. “I saw your desk, you didn’t have that much paperwork left. Too much more paperwork couldn’t have come in over the weekend.”

“Look, P.T. I just didn’t get everything done, okay?” Phillip snarled at him.

Phineas stared at him. Phillip rarely got contrary, his proper upbringing prohibiting any outburst of emotion.

“Please, Phillip, talk to me.” Phineas said, trying his best to sound soothing to the boy. “You can tell me anything.”

Phillip sighed. “I know, P.T. I know. I'm sorry, I guess I'm just a little… irritable today. It’ll pass. I’m going to get some more water, all right? I can make us some coffee, hopefully that’ll help.”

Phineas nodded, and watched with concern as Phillip stood on shaky legs as he put the kettle on to boil.

“Here, I can do that-”

“I don’t need your help, P.T.” Phillip snapped. “I'm fine, I can manage on my own.”

Phineas closed his mouth so sharply his teeth clacked together.

“Phillip.” Phineas said, unable to keep the hurt out of his tone.

Phillip turned to him, remorse already filling his red-rimmed eyes.

“P.T. I'm sorry, I just… I-”

Phillip's eyelids fluttered dangerously and his body began to sway.

“Phillip?”

Fear gripped his heart as Phillip’s eyes rolled back in his head and he collapsed to the floor.

“Phillip!”

Phineas was out of his seat in an instant, gently rolling Phillip into his arms. He shook his shoulders, tapped the boy’s cheek, frowned, then placed his hand across Phillip’s forehead. He grimaced at the heat radiating off the boy’s skin. He then gathered up the young man into his arms, with Phillip's head tucked into his shoulder.

Phillip moaned quietly as Phineas set him on the couch.

“Come on, Phillip, open those eyes for me.” Phineas muttered.

But Phillip’s eyes remained closed.

Phineas bit his lip, and sighed forcibly. So he cupped a hand under Phillip's neck, and pulled him forward so he could get his suit jacket off. He got him out of his vest and tie, and then unbuckled his suspenders and undid the buttons on his shirt.

“Phin?” Phillip murmured, staring blearily up at him. “What's going on?”

“Here, lay back down.” Phineas guided the boy back down. “I was hoping you could tell me why you collapsed with a fever.”

Phillip frowned. “I didn’t think it had gotten that bad.”

“So there is something wrong?” Phineas sighed, pulling a chair up to the couch.

Phillip looked away from him.

“Phillip, please.” Phineas said, unable to push down the urge to thread his fingers in Phillip's sweaty curls. “Something’s off, has been off for a while. What's going on?”

“I haven’t been sleeping.” Phillip unconsciously leaned into Phineas' fingers.

“For how long?” Phineas asked.

“Since…” Phillip trailed off, sheepishly pressing his lips together with a slight tremor, a bit of color tinting his cheeks.

“Since?” He prompted.

“The fire.” Phillip admitted, eyes brimming with unshed tears.

“The fire?!? Oh, Phillip.” Phineas pulled Phillip into a hug, clutching the boy with all he had.

Phillip tried to pull away weakly, but Phineas held him fast and heard a couple choked sobs, as if trying to hold himself back, before the poor boy broke down fully into tears.

“I'm sorry, Phin, I'm so sorry, I try not to let them bother me, I really try, but they keep coming and no matter how hard I try, I can’t get away from them. I keep dreaming that Anne is trapped and I can’t get to her, or that I can still hear Lettie screaming inside, that W.D. is dead, that Anne is dead, that _you're_ dead, and I can’t get to you. I keep dreaming I'm still trapped under that beam, that I'm _burning_ , and I can’t get out. It feels like every night I'm trapped in that fire, every night I wake up screaming, and I can’t take it! I just want to be strong, Phin. Everyone needs me, you need me, and I want to be strong for you but I can’t anymore! Oh God, Phin, I, I, I just want it to stop!”

His heart broke for the child in his arms. A few tears of his own slipped out as he clutched Phillip to his chest, gently rocking back and forth. He found himself whispering small comforts, trying his best to reach the crying boy in his arms. He wasn’t sure how long Phillip cried, but eventually, Phillip's sobs subsided to shuddering breaths.

“Does Anne know?” Phineas asked after he was sure Phillip had calmed somewhat.

Phillip shook his head. “I couldn’t do that to her. She already blames herself for me getting hurt for going in after her, I can’t hurt her like that. She’s already been through so much, just for me. I can’t hurt her again, I just can’t.”

Phineas sighed. While he could understand Phillip's situation, it meant Phillip was facing these night terrors alone. And he wasn’t going to have that.

“Phillip, I need you to know something.” Phineas said solidly.

“What?” Phillip looked up at him with a young, heartbroken, tear-stained face and it nearly broke Phineas' heart again.

“No matter what time it is, no matter when this happens, I need you to know you can come to me.” Phineas said, and when Phillip opened his mouth to protest, he quickly continued, “No, Phillip, I mean it. I don’t care what time it is, if you're going to come here anyway, you're going to wake me up so I can help you.”

“P.T. I- I can’t-”

“Yes, you can.” Phineas said. “We’re partners now, remember? We split everything fifty-fifty. If you're not sleeping, I won’t sleep right alongside you.”

Phillip's eyes welled up with tears again and he ducked his head into Phineas' shoulder.

“I'm sorry.” Phillip mumbled.

“It’s alright, son.” Phineas murmured, dropping a kiss into Phillip's hair. “Now I certainly think it’s time for you to get some sleep. Don’t worry about rehearsal today, I'm sure Lettie can handle it for today.”

“Lettie?” Phillip muttered. “P.T. you can-”

“I'm not leaving you like this, Phillip.” Phineas said, allowing his voice to slip into his Dad tone. “You need rest, and you're ill. The circus can survive without us for a day or two.”

“I… suppose I am tired.” Phillip whispered, as Phineas gently pushed Phillip back down on the couch.

Phineas couldn’t stop the soft smile across his face at Phillip's acquiesce.

“Sleep, Phillip. I'll be right here.”

Phillip's eyes fluttered closed, and Phineas began to stroke the young man's hair once more, watching Phillip's breath become even.


End file.
